As a lifestyle and relationship expert and coach, my job is to help people succeed at their best.
I accomplish this through helping people understand who and where they currently are, who and where they want to be, and what it is that is holding them back. Through this process you can become the best that you can be – to succeed by default.
One of the biggest challenges we all face is the cognitive dissonance between who we think we are and who we really are.
We often fail to see ourselves through the eyes of others because our actions are not independent of our thoughts.
Our actions are directly tied to our thought process, our values, our morals, our insecurities, our needs, our desires, and our motives.
Truthfully, most of us in our busy lives seldom have time for self reflection and the philosophy of our own life and existence. So then we do all of this subliminally, without really putting much thought into it; by default. So, when we do most things, the resulting action is often the default result of a well thought out process that encapsulates who we are and established decision making processes that operates in the blink of an eye.
That is a lot.
I want to show you a few examples of how this looks and what you can do to succeed in life, love, and business with authenticity, respect, and finesse.
Here are two recent examples of people behaving contrary to who they think they are and apologizing by saying, “that’s not me, that’s not who I am”
He is a television host who formerly had a show on CNN called Believer. His show was recently cancelled for his tweets. On June3rd Reza Aslan tweeted out some very unprofessional tweets about the president. In these tweets he called the president a “piece of expletive.”
When called upon to apologize for the derogatory nature of his tweets, Reza Aslan tweeted this apology.
— Reza Aslan (@rezaaslan) June 4, 2017
It is this apology that I want to address. And more specifically the “that’s not like me” part. This man has a history of posting things very much like this including calling the president this same expletive previously, and calling another writer the same expletive. In addition to wishing that someone Congressman Todd Akin was raped.
I do not care what Reza Aslan said. I respect his right to free speech and am not criticizing his apology. I’m a lifestyle expert not a political pundit. I sincerely believe that he made his apology in good faith. And I also truly believe that this man thinks that these tweets are “not like me.”
A Philadelphia Reporter
Colleen Campbell who was a part time journalist was captured on video berating a police officer and club owner for five minutes. After all the dust settled she issued a very sincere apology (before deleting her social media) stating
That’s not me or how I talk or act or anything at all. I don’t know what to do. I feel ruined and embarrassed for me and my family.
Again, I am not trying to judge this woman or rehash a very bad moment for her. I want to draw attention to her apology. She said “that’s not me, that’s not how I talk.” Yet we see her act and talk this way for about 5 minutes. All of her rant and rage came from some source of stored anger that she has deposited. I feel bad for her and hopefully she learns from this.
It is a very human thing to have a different view of who we are that stands in stark contrast to who we present to the world. Our thoughts matter! The way we view the world, our circumstances, and others will come out in our actions whether we want it to or not.
It is important to train yourself to control your thoughts which will not only direct the path of your life but also the journey along the way.
Question, comments, thoughts? Let me know. Also, I have a free course coming open “Live on Purpose” that will cover exactly this area and many more to help you succeed in life, love, and business like you were born to do.